This morning in my quiet time with Jesus, I made a vow to Him that I am going to commit to spending time with Him UNDISTRACTED every day, meditating on His Word, listening for Him to speak, and then journaling anything that may come up. Don't get me wrong, I do spend this time with Him every day already as a practice, but I'm oftentimes hurried/distracted, and it's been a good while since I stayed consistent with writing anything down. But here is my hope...in sharing it here, it will hold me accountable to stay CONSISTENT. So here is my takeaway from my time with the Lord this morning:
"Father, I believe that You want to use me to speak into the lives and hearts of women. You have done this so faithfully for so many years now, in so many different ways, and I thank You for each and every opportunity. I know You have been calling me to greater things for a long while now, but I've had so much fear, doubt in myself, uncertainty, etc...however, I am ready. Speak...Your servant is listening."
Consistency. This is something that I have struggled with for I don't even know how long. I have learned that humans have six basic needs, the first two being opposites - certainty/comfort and uncertainty/variety. Interesting. It makes total sense to me though, and I can definitely see both of these needs in myself. I highly value having certainty - routine, knowing what to expect, security and comfort. I keep EVERYTHING in my phone's calendar and feel a great pull to make "to-do" lists and check things off. Yes, I can relate to this one for sure. But at the complete other end of the spectrum is UNcertainty/variety. Which I can also completely relate to. After all, "variety is the spice of life," right? I get bored very easily and constantly feel a need to "mix things up." In my time with the Lord, in my time with people, in taking adventures, in work, in play, in EVERYTHING! And now, I finally don't feel so bad about it anymore and have made a point to stop beating myself up over it. I'm NORMAL!!!! And so are you! :)
So now that we've gotten that out of the way, back to the thing I struggle with...consistency. I believe that this is a discipline that the Lord wants me to work on. I seem to always be starting something new and before I know it, I've dropped it like a bad habit. My intentions are good, but my ADHD gets in the way of my follow-through. Slightly joking...I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I definitely have a hard time staying focused on just about any task for any length of time. So I brought this to the Lord this morning and changed my thinking on it, just like that. Where I tend to dwell on my faults and failures, especially in my faith ("I SHOULD know/do better," "WHY am I not further along by now?" "I wish I were like..." ) etc. etc. etc...Can you relate? Ugh. The enemy LOVES to get in our heads and make us feel unworthy so we won't come to Jesus at all. But we KNOW that Jesus has continually invited us to come. So we shake all that off, we confess and repent, and we simply come and receive. This is exactly what I did.
I said, "Jesus, I confess to You that I am often and easily distracted, I get bored easily, I am inconsistent in so many things...but none of this surprises You, and in Your mercy, grace, and kindness, You invite me to come, and so I do. I receive Your forgiveness and I set my heart to begin again."
And He instantly gives me Scriptures...Lamentations 3:23 - "Great is HIS faithfulness. His mercies begin afresh each morning." Indeed. HE remains faithful always, even when I do not.
John 10:10 - "The thief's purpose is to kill and steal and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." I will not let the enemy steal my peace, my joy, or my purpose any longer. Jesus gives me abundant life!
1 John 1:9 - "But if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." Instantly. Freely. Repeatedly. Confess, repent, receive.
And then I flipped to the Scriptures of the parables we are studying this week with our fellowship and He gave me some great reflections there as well, which I'll also share. Matthew 18:21-35 ("The Unforgiving Debtor/Servant"):
21 "Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?”
22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven![b]
23 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.[c] 25 He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
26 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ 27 Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
28 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.[d] He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
29 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
31 “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
35 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters[e] from your heart.”
And here are my thoughts on this...Have we forgiven ourselves? Do we freely offer forgiveness to others? Have we truly been born again and received Christ's amazing grace and gift of forgiveness? Do we realize how atrocious our own sin is before a holy God? Assuming the answers are "yes" to all of these questions, how on earth could we refuse to forgive others or hold anyone else's sin/wrongdoing against them? Jesus tells us to forgive immediately, completely, and repeatedly. OR ELSE. There is a stern and sober warning for holding grudges and unforgiveness in our hearts. Toward ourselves and toward others. Once He wipes the slate clean, why do we want to continue to keep a record? WHO are we to do so? LET IT GO. Forgive us, Jesus, once and for all, and help us, by Your love and grace, to forgive others completely, so that we can move forward in peace and purpose. Amen.
*If forgiveness is a sticky subject for you, I would love to help. I am currently working on becoming a certified Forgiveness Life Coach, which I am looking very forward to utilizing in my business and in the Kingdom of God, as I have come across SO many believers who do not truly understand how to practice and apply REAL, genuine forgiveness toward either themselves or people who have wronged them (or oftentimes, both). So please reach out to me and I would love to share more about this work. As we see here, it is a COMMAND from Jesus Himself, NOT just a suggestion.
The second parable is Luke 10:30-37 ("The Good Samaritan") -
30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.
31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant[a] walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.
33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins,[b] telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’
36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.
37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.”
Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”
The Good Samaritan showed mercy and compassion on the man while others just passed him by and left him for dead - even the "holy man," the priest! He would have been considered unclean if he'd touched the man, and this is likely to have impacted his decision to keep going. How often do WE pass others by out of self-preservation, being too busy/distracted/or plain selfish? Do we understand that every person outside of Christ is a "dead man walking" per se? Just before this parable, Jesus gave the most important commandment - "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself." He said, "Do this, and you will live," and the Good Samaritan was His response to, "Who is my neighbor?"
So, are we TRULY loving God with ALL our heart, soul, mind, and strength? Are we?? Am I?? According to HIS litmus test. How am I treating my neighbor? My fellow man? Everyone I pass by? Those who are frustrating, hard to love, those with differing views from me, those who've hurt me...am I a victim? Am I in sin?
Lord Jesus, change my heart. Transform my mind and my life, by extension. Make me a CONSISTENT conduit of your compassion, mercy, and grace. Make me intentional, observant, and willing to stop and take notice of the "least of these." Give me your eyes, to see mankind the way You see us. Give me your heart to love the lost. Set me on mission, on purpose, on fire, and on Your path...for Your glory and the good of my fellow man. Amen and amen.
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